Change

So the past few weeks the thought "change your view, change your world," has been a recurring theme/thought in my head. Since this thought has been in my head I have found every excuse under the sun not to put up a new post, chiefly that my mind was too cluttered to do a proper post. But the fact of the matter is, part of the reason I started a blog was to help unclutter my mind and already I am failing.

Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech ... !!! 

That right there is one of the things I need to change. I am not failing, I've just hit a speed bump. In this journey/process that I am going through I am learning to identify things as setbacks or speed bumps rather than calling them failures. This posts exists so I haven't failed. The ambitious plan I set for myself with no experience in writing a blog to have two posts up a week was guaranteed to fail (that ridiculous plan not my blogging adventures). I, who didn't really think of myself as a writer (another topic for another post) was going to put out two posts a week on a schedule. Ha!

But I digress, back to the topic at hand.

By nature I am a ponderer, I consider my options, weigh the pros & cons and then I ponder some more. I'm usually a glass half full type of gal but when I get to pondering about things (life, love, lahars, lava flows and the origins of the universe) I then to become more of a glass half empty sort. (Yes, I've been watching a lot of show on the earth and it's origins and what will lead to it's destruction). So I sit and I ponder some more, rather than acting on all the things I've considered. So the pondering and procrastinating brain has got to shift to an acting one.

Declaring that you will change your view in order to charge your life is easily said. Not so much easily done. Years, in my case 3+ decades worth of  ingrained mental habits, have to be taken out and reviewed like old pictures and accessed for their value, actual or imagined.

One of the biggest views I need to change is that of  a vengeful God, who will punish  me for every slip up or  deliberate act. In changing my view of God from strict disciplinarian to loving creator perhaps I can be more forgiving of myself for my foibles and consequently a more loving and gracious person. This change is going to take some time, it's already begun. I can identify that a "God of fire and brimstone" doesn't quite jibe with the loving creator who sent his son to be redeemed for a whole world that oft times does not acknowledge. I have already come some distance down this path and will see it through to the end.  As the inimitable Sam Cooke sang "It's been a long, long time coming/But I know a change is gonna come." I believe it. How can I say that with any certainty? I sat down and typed this words. Change is definitely on it's way.  I expect that there will be many speed bumps and set backs along the way, but c'est la vie. La bonne vie.

Lady Littlefoot